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Do you need to change your perspective?

4/25/2012

3 Comments

 
In life, crazy things happen.  Sometimes they are happy crazy things, sometimes they are sad.  Sometimes they make you jump for joy, sometimes they make you mad.  One thing that I have learned is that my reaction to the things that happen to me makes all the difference in the world.  I will use Monday night as an example.  As I was cooking dinner, I opened the microwave to soften some butter and the whole wall of cabinets toppled over onto
the floor, microwave and all.

There are a few ways that I could have reacted to this.  One is getting so angry that I could have been cussing up a storm and on the phone with lawyers right away wanting restitution for the damages.  After all, my kitchen was a big reason that I bought my home.  
 
Another way I could have reacted is taking the victim role and playing the poor me card.  So how did I react?  First I
yelled because it scared the pajeebers out of me. Then, once I realized what had happened, I got down on my knees and thanked the Lord that my children were outside playing and did not get hurt.  Lastly, I felt the need to share my shock with friends so I took pictures and posted them on Facebook and called my father to see if he could help me fix it.

Later when I took my girls out to dinner since dinner was ruined by chunks of drywall falling in it I received the best complement I could have ever received.  My oldest daughter said to me, “Mom, you don’t seem very upset about the cabinets falling because you have stayed so calm.”  All that I could think to say to that is, “No one got hurt so what is there to be upset about.”  As I was saying it and after I had some time to think about that conversation I realized that a few years ago, I may not have been so calm.  In fact, I would have probably gotten very angry. 
One thing that I have noticed about myself is that my anger is a secondary emotion.  When I get angry it is usually covering up another emotion that I do not want to show anyone else.

In a situation like the cabinets, my anger would have come from the fear of not being able to pay for the damages. 
Luckily my father kindly reminded me that something like this should be covered in my home owner’s insurance, which it is.  In other situations, my anger comes from fear of one of my children getting hurt, or from feeling disrespected.  In fact, those two emotions alone, fear and the feeling of being disrespected, are where I would say that 95% of my anger comes from.  I haven’t quite figured out where the other 5% comes from but I am still learning about myself every day.

So how do you think you would have reacted?  Would you have taken the victim role and become paralyzed to do anything?  Would you have become an anger ball and alienated everyone around you? Or would you have gotten down on your knees and thanked the Lord (or whoever you pray to) for your families safety?  I know this sounds fake and absolutely ridiculous but I am thankful that this happened this week.  After all, I just finished all my school work last week.  Had it happened any earlier I would have been much more stressed about when I would be able to find time to take care of the situation. I am also in my spring cleaning mode, so what better way to clean out my cabinets then have all the stuff fall out of them for me? LOL.

I know life can be stressful but my hope for you is that you can find the things to be thankful for so that you can take on a better perspective and show your children how to make the best of any situation.  Until next time, God
Bless!
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    Michelle Rasmussen

    A single mother herself, has learned how to successfully raise strong, self reliant children that are sure to be assets to society.

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