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Do you need to change your perspective?

4/25/2012

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In life, crazy things happen.  Sometimes they are happy crazy things, sometimes they are sad.  Sometimes they make you jump for joy, sometimes they make you mad.  One thing that I have learned is that my reaction to the things that happen to me makes all the difference in the world.  I will use Monday night as an example.  As I was cooking dinner, I opened the microwave to soften some butter and the whole wall of cabinets toppled over onto
the floor, microwave and all.

There are a few ways that I could have reacted to this.  One is getting so angry that I could have been cussing up a storm and on the phone with lawyers right away wanting restitution for the damages.  After all, my kitchen was a big reason that I bought my home.  
 
Another way I could have reacted is taking the victim role and playing the poor me card.  So how did I react?  First I
yelled because it scared the pajeebers out of me. Then, once I realized what had happened, I got down on my knees and thanked the Lord that my children were outside playing and did not get hurt.  Lastly, I felt the need to share my shock with friends so I took pictures and posted them on Facebook and called my father to see if he could help me fix it.

Later when I took my girls out to dinner since dinner was ruined by chunks of drywall falling in it I received the best complement I could have ever received.  My oldest daughter said to me, “Mom, you don’t seem very upset about the cabinets falling because you have stayed so calm.”  All that I could think to say to that is, “No one got hurt so what is there to be upset about.”  As I was saying it and after I had some time to think about that conversation I realized that a few years ago, I may not have been so calm.  In fact, I would have probably gotten very angry. 
One thing that I have noticed about myself is that my anger is a secondary emotion.  When I get angry it is usually covering up another emotion that I do not want to show anyone else.

In a situation like the cabinets, my anger would have come from the fear of not being able to pay for the damages. 
Luckily my father kindly reminded me that something like this should be covered in my home owner’s insurance, which it is.  In other situations, my anger comes from fear of one of my children getting hurt, or from feeling disrespected.  In fact, those two emotions alone, fear and the feeling of being disrespected, are where I would say that 95% of my anger comes from.  I haven’t quite figured out where the other 5% comes from but I am still learning about myself every day.

So how do you think you would have reacted?  Would you have taken the victim role and become paralyzed to do anything?  Would you have become an anger ball and alienated everyone around you? Or would you have gotten down on your knees and thanked the Lord (or whoever you pray to) for your families safety?  I know this sounds fake and absolutely ridiculous but I am thankful that this happened this week.  After all, I just finished all my school work last week.  Had it happened any earlier I would have been much more stressed about when I would be able to find time to take care of the situation. I am also in my spring cleaning mode, so what better way to clean out my cabinets then have all the stuff fall out of them for me? LOL.

I know life can be stressful but my hope for you is that you can find the things to be thankful for so that you can take on a better perspective and show your children how to make the best of any situation.  Until next time, God
Bless!
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What baggage do you need to let go of?

4/12/2012

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I know that it has been forever since I have  wrote in here.  As mentioned back  in January, this is the busiest time of year for me at work and I am very near  to completing my MBA so between the two of those things, I have not had enough  time to write in here (something had to give in order for me to breath).  Luckily I have less than a week left of  school after which I should have plenty of time to get back into this.  However,  this morning I woke up  with a burning need to write in here so I hope I am able to get everything out  in a comprehensive post even though it is a bit rushed so that I can get to  work.

 Last night I was in a bit of a funk because I was  letting life get me down.  But I  was fortunate enough to have a conversation with a friend who gently let me know that I need to let go of some of my baggage from past relationships.  More specifically my marriage but I know that I harbor baggage from other relationships as well.  We all have baggage and that baggage can be very damaging to our relationships.  I am not just talking about romantic relationships. Too much baggage can also damage friendships, relationships with parents or siblings, and even your relationship with your children.  It really is not fair to the people around you when you allow the actions
of one person to create the reaction you chose with everyone else.

 I remember a conversation that I had with my step dad the day before he died.  I was expressing my frustration to him about the way my mother had been treating him during his last few weeks.  And rather than jump on the band wagon or allow me to vent he stopped me and explained something to me about my mother that I had never realized before. He explained to me the baggage that she was carrying around caused her to fear a lot of things and when she lashed out on people it was her fear shining through.  You see, he knew my mother better than
I ever hoped to know her and he loved her in spite of the baggage she carried that caused her to treat my step dad poorly.  We are not all lucky enough to find someone as patient and understanding as my step dad so it is up to us to let go of our baggage in order to preserve all our other relationships in our lives.

 I will be the first to admit that letting go of past hurts is not easy.  But we have to do it anyway.  Smiling through the pain is not easy, do it anyway.  Learning to laugh again is not easy, do it anyway.  Your children deserve the best you that you can be.  This short excerpt from the Simple Truths book "One Choice" says it all.
One...
One tree can start a forest,
One smile can begin a friendship,
One hand can lift a soul,
One word can frame the goal,
One candle can wipe out darkness,
One laugh can conquer gloom,
One hope can raise our spirits,
And...one choice can change your life.

Only you can chose to let go of your baggage and start living the life you deserve.

 I want to hear from you. How have you learned to let go of your baggage in order to preserve all your other relationships?

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    Michelle Rasmussen

    A single mother herself, has learned how to successfully raise strong, self reliant children that are sure to be assets to society.

    View my profile on LinkedIn

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