Each year at this time, I make my New Year’s resolutions.  This tradition dates all the way back to 153 B.C.  Though no one knows exactly when or why this tradition was started, it continues as more and more people make resolutions to improve their lives in some form or fashion.

I used to just make a resolution to visit somewhere that I have never been before but with the high price of school as I work of getting my MBA, traveling is out of the question this year.  So, I have decided to go with a more traditional resolution this year and make a goal that I can work on throughout the year.  This year, my resolutions involve getting the 501(c)(3) status for Village of Life finalized so that we can move forward with our goals of helping others.  I also plan to finish my MBA by October and spend as much time outdoors with my children as I can fit in.  In order to complete the first two goals, I will need to hunker down and put my nose to the grind stone.  I expect the feeling I will receive when I have successfully completed both will be well worth the long hours and hard work that it will take.

Although many people have good intentions when they start working on their resolutions, did you know that less than 50% of those that make a resolution are still maintaining it after 6 months?  That begs the question: How do you insure that you will follow through with your resolution and reach your goal?  Although you are the only one that can insure that you stick to any goal you make, here are some simple steps to help you along the way.

1.       Decide exactly what you want.
2.       Write it down. 
3.       Multiply the expectation.
4.       Set a deadline for your goal.
5.       Do something every day.

Step 1, decide exactly what you want.  Being precise in what you want will help you visualize it and know exactly where you are headed.  It also attracts what you want to you.  The first time I heard about this principle I thought it was rubbish but then I decided to test it out.  Three years ago I wrote down exactly what I want in my dream man.  I wrote down every attribute from character traits and values to the way he looks.  I was amazed to meet someone with 98% of what I had written down this past year.  So now I keep adding to the list and have separated it into two lists: 1) must have attributes and 2) would be nice to have attributes. ( I will be sure to let you know how my new lists work out for me.)

Step 2, write it down.  USA Today reported on a study a few years ago.  First researchers selected people who made New Year’s resolutions.  Then they divided these people into two categories: 1) those who made New Year’s resolutions and wrote them down, and 2) those who made New Year’s resolutions, but neglected to write them down. Twelve months later, they followed up on the respondents in the study.  What they found was astonishing!  Of the people who made New Year’s resolutions but neglected to write them down, only 4% actually followed through on their resolutions.  However, among the group that took a few minutes to record their New Year’s resolutions, 44% followed through on them.  This difference of more than 1100% proves the simple act of crystallizing resolutions or goals on paper increases the likelihood of success.

Step 3, multiply the expectation.  To multiply the expectation means to tell others what you are going to do.  This creates more accountability to insure that you will follow through.  If you tell people what you are going to do, they will be watching to see if you actually do it or not.  It also creates a great support system because when you decide to give up, someone will step in and provide the encouragement you need to keep going.  I remember when I was 17, a friend of mine wanted to go bungee jumping.  I didn’t have the desire to do it but she begged me to go with her.  Since I wasn’t 18, I had to have my mother’s permission.  In asking my mother, she said I wouldn’t do it.  I told her, “If you sign the paper, I will do it.”  When I got there I got suited up… I rode all the way to the top and was ready to jump, and what should happen?  I looked down and I chickened out.  My friend reminded me of what I had said to my mother to encourage me.  Then the crowd below multiplied the expectation by starting to count down from 10.  If I did not have my friend or the crowd there cheering me on, I would not have done it.  But I did do it and I loved it…. all because I had a crowd of people encouraging me to do what I had set out to do.

Step 4, set a deadline for your goal.  Without a deadline, you will be tempted to put off getting started or if you do start, you will be tempted to take it slower than you should.  One thing I like to do is not just set a goal but to also set intermediate goals or milestones.  This helps me stay on track for big goals that take a lot of time (like my education).

Step 5, do something every day.  Deadlines have a way of creeping up quietly and then pouncing you with their urgency.  So here is a simple tactic to overcome procrastination.  Work for 6 hours on the things that are due in the next 6 days.  Then, allocate the remainder of your time to projects that are due in the next 6 months.  An African proverb says, “Little by little, the cotton thread becomes a loincloth.”  For me, one class at a time is getting me closer each term to finishing my Master’s degree.

Your brain has both a success mechanism and a failure mechanism.  The failure mechanism is the temptation to follow the undisciplined path of least resistance, to do what is fun and easy rather than what is hard and necessary.  Your failure mechanism triggers automatically throughout your life, which is the major reason why most people fail to fulfill their individual potentials.  When you decide upon a goal, you override your failure mechanism and change the direction of your life.  So take the step now and tell us all what your resolution is for 2012 and we will be here to encourage you to reach it.

As the end of the year is upon us, I thought I would take the time today to write about the things that I am thankful for.  First and foremost, I am thankful for my children and the opportunity to be an example for them.  It is so exciting to me to see them learn and grow but even more exciting are the lessons they are teaching me.  They truly keep me young with their laughter and sweet smiles.

I am thankful for the patience I have gained through my life’s trials and for the many friends that I have met along the way.  Friends that love me no matter how long we go between talking and who accept me for just who I am, faults and all.  There have been a number of people in my life that have come and gone but every one of them have left lasting impressions in my heart that bring a smile to my face when I think about them.

I am thankful for my family for standing by me through thick and thin.  I am thankful for my sister’s brutal honesty as it always lets me know exactly where I stand and what I need to work on improving in my life. For my mother’s willingness to listen to my problems without judging me for making poor decisions that created the problem in the first place.  For my father’s willingness to help me anytime that I need something fixed or when I need advice on a big purchase I am considering like my home or camp trailer.  I am thankful for the fun times that I have been able to spend with my brother and his family camping and just hanging out together.

I would love to hear about the things you are thankful for.  What is it that gets you out of bed each day and puts a spring in your step when you think about it?

I have recently had an experience that rocked my foundation and left me extremely unmotivated to do the everyday things that I know that I need to get done.  I have found myself not getting my school work done to completion and not getting simple housework done.  I am sure that I am experiencing a slight depression.  As I experience this, I realize that there are a number of people out there that have far more difficult obstacles in their lives and may be experiencing a much deeper form of depression or lack of motivation.  So I am going to share with you the steps I have been taking the last few weeks to get myself back on track to a happy and motivated state of mind.

The technique that I am going to share with you I learned from a wonderful life coach named Marinna Siri.  If you would like to learn more about her she has a great website at: http://beabsolutelyfree.weebly.com/index.html.

Marinna taught me that we attract to us emotions through vibration.  Each emotion has its own vibration and we can change how we are feeling by changing the vibration in our own bodies.  This comes from the law of resonance which states that when two vibrationing systems come into contact with each other, the vibration of the weaker body will adjust its energy to match that of the stronger body.  This is not a new concept and I have heard about this many times before but never really experimented with it until I met her. 

Love, gratitude, and joy are some emotions that have the highest frequency of vibration.  By creating high frequency vibrations in yourself you can begin to feel happy even on your worst days.  To do this you have to take time each day to kind of meditate.  I am not talking about meditating in the traditional Hindu or Buddhist way but in a very simple and easy to follow way.

First thing that you need to do is commit to yourself that you are going to love yourself.  Then you have to take an assessment of your state of mind in the moment.  I like to lay down when I am doing this activity mostly because I do it first thing in the morning before getting out of bed.  Plus it helps me relax and live in the moment.  As you assess your feelings, simply learn to be present.  Start by just taking an assessment of your physical feelings.  Scan your body starting with your toes and tune into anything that is going on.  Slowly work your way up into your ankles, to your knees, then thighs… all the way up to your head.  All you need to do is by the watcher of the sensations that you are feeling.  If you are not feeling anything, take your hand and touch your arm or shoulder or somewhere else on your body.  This will give you a baseline of your physical state.

Now begin to look inside at the emotions that you are feeling.  If you fully feel an emotion, it should peak in about 10-30 seconds.  What you’ll find is that emotions come to you in waves.  When we feel like we are drowning it is because we have lost ourselves in the waves and our goal is to jump up on top of the wave and ride it.  By becoming the watcher of the waves, you put yourself in a position to ride the wave much easier and take yourself out of the victim role.   Soon you will become good at surfing your waves and not letting them push you down.

Once you are present and aware of the emotions you are feeling then you can begin to change the frequency you experience with certain issues.  My issue recently has everything to do with trust.  So as I think about the issue and become present with myself and become the watcher of my emotions; I start to allow my mind to think about happy times.  Times when I experienced higher frequency emotions.   For me this was the first time I held my children.  Remember, if you are doing it right, if you are riding your waves of emotions, you should be almost outside of your body.  Like you are watching a movie but also experiencing the movie at the same time.  So as I lay there and allow my mind to picture the first time I held my children in my arms, my heart starts to feel lighter.  The heavy feeling I was having as I thought about my trust issues begin to also feel lighter.  The whole time I am going through all these emotions I breathe deeply.  What you are doing is training your body how to feel with each deep breath.  Doing this exercise everyday, trains your body how you want to feel and by connecting it to your breath you are training your body to feel lighter with each breath.  That way, when you find yourself in an anxious place… you have to ask your boss for a raise, or you have to confront your significant other or your Ex about an issue that feels heavy to you… you can calm yourself down and feel lighter just by breathing.  Then you are able to address the issue with confidence.

I hope you enjoyed reading this week and I hope to hear about your success stories.  Please share them with everyone by leaving a comment.