A couple weeks ago I traveled to Chicago and took my children with me. It was a great trip! We had so much fun making some great memories. But traveling with children has not always been fun for me. Let's face it, traveling with children can be hard. I remember traveling with my ex when we just had one child and I would stress out so bad that my hair would fall out in what seemed like handfuls.

Before we started having children, he often complained about children in public, and especially about children on planes. It was like nails on a chalkboard listening to him. So when we had our own, the thought of traveling with him drove me nuts. The last thing I wanted was for our daughter to get sick or cry on the plane and give him something to complain about. I really should have been more worried about my daughter's comfort for her sake rather than his.  

Then when I became single the thought of traveling and doing everything myself was overwhelming.   That is when I decided to always take someone with me when I travel. But let's face it… that is not always possible. The people around us are not always able to drop what they are doing to go play with us. So I had to learn how to do it all myself and I have learned some tricks along the way to take the stress out of traveling with children. Here they are: 

1.  Make a list of what needs to be packed in each person's bag.  Start this list about a week before so that as you go through the week you can add things you forgot. Better yet, create the list on your computer to use over and over again. 

Split the list into two sections. On one side of the  sheet, put items that you can pack at any time. (I typically pull these items  aside into a pile as I pull them out of the dryer as I am doing laundry. On the  other side of the list I put items that get packed at the last minute. Things  like toothbrushes, medicine, and favorite toys.

Once your children are old  enough to read the list, they can start packing for themselves and all you have  to do is go through the check list with them when they are done to be sure you  approve of the clothing they have chosen. (My youngest loves to pack nice  clothes for camping and camping clothes when she needs dress up  outfits) 

2. Even at a young age, encourage your children to pack their own  backpack of things to do while traveling. This could include snacks,  dolls/stuffed animals, small cars/trucks, coloring or reading books, or small  electronics. Just make sure that they chose quiet toys to help you and the  people around you keep your sanity while in route. Last but not least, teach  them to carry the pack themselves.  

3. Leave early and give yourself plenty of time for potty breaks.  How quickly we forget that their bladders are much smaller than ours. If you  feel rushed you will be tempted to tell them to hold it which can lead to  accidents and cost you more time because now you have to clean everything up.  By the way, if your little ones are still young enough that they have accidents, make sure you pack their bag at the top or put a change of clothing in their backpack for easy access.

4. If you are going on vacation and you can avoid  agendas or schedules, I highly recommend it. As a parent we spend so much time  rushing from one thing to another (soccer, piano, dance, gymnastics, martial  arts, school, work... you get the idea). Vacation should be a break. A time to  do whatever makes you happy... Not stress you out.  So plan some activities but don't set a time to do them or a time limit.  If you do have to schedule things, make sure the schedule is flexible so that if you are having a lot of fun you can enjoy what you are doing just a little bit longer.

When my girls and I leave the house for a trip, they know that if they ask me  what time it is the answer will be "vacation time".   

5. If you are planning on going somewhere you  have never been before I highly recommend you search the internet for deals on  attractions.  Citypass.com has  some GREAT deals on select cities.   We took advantage of it while in Chicago and basically for the price of  admission to two attractions, we had the option of going to 5 different  attractions.  So our goal was to  hit at least two of the attractions just to justify the cost of the books.  Luckily, we  were able to hit 4 of the 5 attractions available to us.   Not too bad for a three day trip. 

As you are searching the internet for things to keep you entertained, don’t forget to  look at the times everything is open.   This is a mistake I almost made in Chicago.   After buying the city passes, we found that almost everything on the pass  closed between 4:30 and 6:00 pm.   This limited what we could reasonably get to but also opened up the door  to see other sights in the evening that we were not planning on like Navy Peer and the fun water  taxi ride that we took to get from one attraction to  another. 

6. Look for hotels that cater to children.  Many hotels have deals where kids stay  and play or stay and eat free with a paying adult.  This is true of Snowbird here in Utah.  That is why the last two summers we have taken a mini  vacation (one night) up the canyon to enjoy Oktoberfest at Snowbird where we enjoy free  rides on the tram, a great meal at one of the resort restaurants, and all day  activity passes for all the fun things they have going on.   It is a great way to save money and create lasting  memories. 

I want to hear from you. How do you create great memories while  keeping your sanity when traveling with  children?

I started the Village of Life as a way to bring awareness to others that single parenting is harder than co-parenting but it does not have to be.   If people would join together and help each other like they used to, then single
parents would not feel so alone and outnumbered by their children.

Once upon a time, society worked a whole lot different.  People took on the attitude that it takes a village to raise a child.   That means that if a child was misbehaving in public it was likely that an adult that knew the child’s family would correct that child. Then they would tell the child’s family who would also correct the child.  Even complete strangers would step up and tell children to straighten up. But now days, if a stranger corrects a child, they are looked down upon; even yelled at by the child’s parents for stepping in.  When did things change?  And more importantly, WHY?

Let me give you an example. When I was dating an individual that came from a large family (before I had children of my own) we went to Lake Powell with his family.  We attempted to fit his parents, his 5 siblings, and all their children on one house boat.  It was a very fun trip but can you say overcrowded?  Luckily we took a tent to sleep on shore.  One evening after motoring around the lake all day, we pulled up to shore to dock for the evening so that those with tents could get their beds set up.  
 
Now, docking a large house boat can be a tedious task.  It takes concentration and a lot of coordination between the driver and others around the boat to get the ropes out, anchor out and placed, and ropes tied off to it properly. 
It can also be dangerous if you are not careful.


On this evening, there were three young boys who wanted to fish but were told “No” by their grandfather. You see, he was busy trying to get the boat anchored and parked in a way that those going to shore did not have to step in the water if they did not want to.  Upset to be told “No” they complained to their mother who quickly reversed their grandfather’s decision.  Coming from a family that does not tolerate a parent overriding another adult without asking why they made the decision they did, I stepped in and explained the situation to the mother.  Expecting her to see the wisdom her father-in-law demonstrated by telling them “no” in the first place, I was dumb founded when she told me to stay out of it because she was their mother and I had no right butting in.  I had to step away from the situation completely in order to refrain from making an enemy out of this women.

Over the years, I have upset plenty of parents by butting in and telling children to stop doing something they shouldn’t.  Some of these parents have been my friends but many have not.  I can tell you this, I would much rather make an enemy of a friend for stepping in when they think I shouldn’t have than see a child get hurt because I saw them doing something they should not have been doing.  So the next time you see a child or young teenager doing something they shouldn't, speak up and help me bring back the village to help keep our children safe.

Today I come to you from Chicago as I sit at my graduation for my master's degree in business. One thing that struck me is how few people actually get where I am. Only 30% of Americans graduate college.  50% of bachelor degree students drop out and 30% of master degree students drop out.  The most amazing thing to me is that only nine percent of Americans complete their master's degree. Even fewer are single mothers.

That is why in the graduate staging area I took a minute to gather a few of the single mothers in the crowd and took their picture. These women are in the top 10% of Americans.  These women are living proof that you can do anything you put your mind to.  In fact, that is the message of the key note speaker, Jack Canfield. No matter how many people tell you that you can not do something or tell you your dreams are stupid, do it anyway. Only you know what your dreams are. Just follow them because they know the way. 

This morning I woke everyone up military style with singing, banging and all kinds of ruckus. to my surprise our new family member did not budge even after five minutes of banging a wooden spoon on a pan next to his ear. He finally stirred when I mentioned that anyone still in bed in five minutes would be bathing in their beds.

Once up I quickly let him know that he would need to clean up dog poo in the backyard. It took him two hours but he finally finished the job. I'm afraid that breakfast was not worth the hard work he put in since it was just cereal but he didn't complain. Then when he started asking about snacks I let him know the kitchen had to be swept and mopped. To his misfortune my mop was not working so he had to use a small sponge and scrub on his hands and knees. He did it gladly when he found out snack was strawberries. Come lunch time he earned a chicken salad sandwich by cleaning windows and my glass tables. Too bad he said he didn't like chicken. He was not too happy when I said, "if you don't like what's for lunch, lunch is over."

When his mom showed up at noon he was extremely happy to see her but said he still wanted to live with me. So he stayed and I let him pick up toys for the right to watch TV for 30 minutes. Unfortunately TV did not keep him happy for long and while I was in my office working I heard the front door open and close. He decided it was time to go find his friends to play. So I had to stop what I was doing and go on a treasure hunt for our little friend. Luckily his mother knew just where to look and after stopping at two houses I found him. I asked him if he would like to talk to me privately or if it was ok if I embarassed him in front of his friends. He didn't budge so the count down started. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.... Then came the explanation of the rules in my house. He thought it was pretty odd that he had to ask permission to go play and that I had to know exactly where he was at all times. Odd that is until his little friend chimed in and said he has the same rules at his house. With this announcement I saw the light bulb go on and he knew he was in trouble. That is when I informed him he could not live with me if he could not follow my rules and we marched home to his his where his mother was waiting with open arms.



Mom came at noon but he refused to leave. 

I have to share with you an experiment I am trying tonight. Earlier today my neighbor posted on her Facebook page that her young son does not like her rules so he wants a new family. I had to laugh because as a child I remember saying the same thing to my mother before packing a plastic garbage bag full of clothes then dragging it down the street. Laughing from the window,my mother just watched me go... leaving a trail of clothes behind me. This made it easy for her to find me when she had calmed down enough that she would not laugh in my face.

After calming my own laughter, I made an offer to my neighbor that I would take him in. The contingency was that he would have to earn his keep by doing all the yummy chores in my house that no one else wants. She took me up on the offer.

At about 8:30 she showed up at my house with her son. To his surprise I had dirty toilets waiting for him to earn a bed to sleep in. After he gladly cleaned the toilets, I made him read a book to me. When I asked him to go potty before getting in bed he refused. With a sweet smile I let him know he had two choices. He could go potty before climbing in bed or he could sleep in the tub. Then I left the room to go tuck my girls in bed while he thought about it for a minute. When I returned he let me know he decided to go potty. He is now fast asleep in his bed.

We'll see how long he lasts tomorrow when I wake everyone up military style and do chores to earn their breakfast. I'll let you know how it goes.