I want to start off by thanking each of the readers that sent me email messages privately after the post on 12/18/13 that shared with me what they struggle with the most as a single parent. I promise to touch on each obstacle in time. For this first post of the year, I want to focus on playing the victim role since this seemed to be a common theme in the emails I received. 

Lets start by defining what I mean by "playing the victim role". When bad things happen to you, how do you react? Do you spend a lot of time calling all your family and friends to tell them what happened? Do you find yourself posting your whoas on Facebook or other social media sites to get simpathy from anyone reading?

It is human nature to want to share your life with others and get advice from them on what to do. However, if you continue to share the same sob story over and over, without making a plan to overcome your obstacles, then you are playing the victim role. Or, if you continue to have similar problems over and over and all you do is complain about them, then you are playing the victim role. Let me share a short story with you to help you see what I mean clearly.

A Short Story

Chapter 1

I drive down the street. There is a huge pot hole in the road. There is no way around it so I hit it. It flattens my tire. It is not my fault. It takes forever to find a way out and recover from it. I need help to fix my tire.

Chapter 2

I drive down the same street. The pot hole is still there. I pretend to not see it. I hit it again and it flattens my tire again. I can't believe I'm in the same place. But it isn't my fault. It takes a long time to get out. I need help to fix my tire.

Chapter 3

I drive down the same street. The pot hole is still there. I see it there. I hit it... it's a habit... but my eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately and fix my tire myself.

Chapter 4

I drive down the same street. The pot hole is still there. I see it there. I drive into the other lane to avoid it.

Chapter 5

I drive down a different street.

If you would like to be successful, start by recognizing when you play the victim role. Then decide to make a change. Decide to steer around the pot holes in your life or drive down roads without pot holes. If you do hit a pot hole, take responsibility and make corrections. Only you can make your life what you want it to be.

As a mother of a child whom I suspect was abused, I felt this article had to be shared. I hope you find it helpful in keeping the children you love safe.

http://babyandblog.com/2013/10/6-ways-to-protect-your-child-from-sexual-abuse/

I have been a single mother so long that I forget how different it is to parent with a partner compared to doing it alone. You might say that my single parent struggles have just become part of my life. So I no longer see them as struggles. Because of this, it has been nearly a full year since I have posted a blog article on this site. Yet I see that people are still finding the old articles helpful. Therefore, I am going to make it my New Year's resolution to write in here at least once per month. I am also going to start working on that goal before New Year's Day. So I start planning the articles for the year today.

To help me come up with enough topics to keep articles coming your way, I want to hear from you. What do you struggle with the most as a single parent? Please leave your comments here or email me at mrasmussen@villageoflife.net.