I want to start off by thanking each of the readers that sent me email messages privately after the post on 12/18/13 that shared with me what they struggle with the most as a single parent. I promise to touch on each obstacle in time. For this first post of the year, I want to focus on playing the victim role since this seemed to be a common theme in the emails I received.
Lets start by defining what I mean by "playing the victim role". When bad things happen to you, how do you react? Do you spend a lot of time calling all your family and friends to tell them what happened? Do you find yourself posting your whoas on Facebook or other social media sites to get simpathy from anyone reading?
It is human nature to want to share your life with others and get advice from them on what to do. However, if you continue to share the same sob story over and over, without making a plan to overcome your obstacles, then you are playing the victim role. Or, if you continue to have similar problems over and over and all you do is complain about them, then you are playing the victim role. Let me share a short story with you to help you see what I mean clearly.
A Short Story
I drive down the street. There is a huge pot hole in the road. There is no way around it so I hit it. It flattens my tire. It is not my fault. It takes forever to find a way out and recover from it. I need help to fix my tire.
I drive down the same street. The pot hole is still there. I pretend to not see it. I hit it again and it flattens my tire again. I can't believe I'm in the same place. But it isn't my fault. It takes a long time to get out. I need help to fix my tire.
I drive down the same street. The pot hole is still there. I see it there. I hit it... it's a habit... but my eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately and fix my tire myself.
I drive down the same street. The pot hole is still there. I see it there. I drive into the other lane to avoid it.
I drive down a different street.
If you would like to be successful, start by recognizing when you play the victim role. Then decide to make a change. Decide to steer around the pot holes in your life or drive down roads without pot holes. If you do hit a pot hole, take responsibility and make corrections. Only you can make your life what you want it to be.